V IS FOR VELD (OR VAST OPEN SPACES – NOSEHILL/ FISH CREEK)
What to do there: Go out into nature. A forest, the woods, the veld, your local park. Anywhere where there is grass and shrubs will do. The painter David Hockney said: “To get something fresh you have to go back to nature . . . You can’t be tired of nature. It is just our way of looking at it that we are tired of. So get a new way of looking at it.” Write and meditate until you get a new way of looking at nature. If you’ve never hugged a tree, now’s the time.
Twittering every which way,
Up there,
Down here.
Swaying of trees as wind picks up,
Leaves tango as they brush against each other.
Chill bumps rise.
Little clovers beneath my feet.
Hum of a lawnmower drowns out tranquility,
Whoosh of vehicles distracts harmless creatures.
Sweet songs fade in fear our mechanical beasts,
Innocence evaporates.
Yet, they did nothing wrong,
Our impulsive machinery devours greens on browns.
Homes destroyed;
Families separated.
Dainty daffodils, pearly petunias, candy carnations shrivel away.
Although, hope fills
Seeing that great bright ball, behind gray fluff, peep out.
Maybe a sliver of chance lives?
All as I absorb natural elegance,
Beauty struggles to breathe on.
C IS FOR CEMETERY
What to do there: Create a map of the cemetery as you walk through it. Approach it as if it were a town or a village. Write about what goes on underground. Explore the past (the dead), the present (nature), and the future (this place in 100 years time). Start with the word “dead” and end your piece with the word “life” (or the opposite way round)
Untamed
yet silent and patient.
It keeps to itself as it shies away
from the garish light and lurks in shadow.
In the darkest corner,
the beast’s pale eyes
leer;
a pair of crescent moons at dawn.
Then when Night puts on his
black fedora hat
adorned with one pearl brooch
and a thick
velvet mantle sprinkled with
thousands of millions of polished diamonds.
He begins his walk
around the earth.
The beast, Death, leaps out.
Pale as ice bathed in
moonlight,
but without the smiling glitter.It begins to search for frail
shivering souls
unable to stand the burden of life.
Every breath weighs them down as if
the sky was collapsing.
Death devours their last
breaths.
Every pulse of blood pains so much as if
fire was flowing instead.
Death quaffs their
hot, sticky blood, like fresh wine.
Sweet as sin.
Dark as night.
After the feast, the beast’s howls
are carried by the
winds.
Tainted with the odor of age-old bone.Finally, when Day awakes from her
slumber,
she walks out in her night-gown.
Frilled with fluffy clouds like valentine lace,
fine and wispy and soft.
Her skin is a pale blue today,
brushed with mother-of-pearl
with the same
swirling turquoise, azure,
and the pink luring in a fragrant jasmine.
She hums to herself as
Night moans
and dejectedly slumps away.The burning rays of light outshines
Death’s ice-white fur
and the beast darts off to
find some shelter or haven in the cool
welcoming shadows
again,
Q IS FOR QUAY( IN CALGARY, BY THE RIVER WILL SUFFICE)
What to do there: Write about movement. Sit and watch the world go by. Notice the differences between land and water and sky. If you don’t have a quay, a jetty will do, or a harbour, or a river bank. Tell the story of a character who transforms when they move from one element to the other and how this transformation impacts on their life, their relationships, and their daily routines. This could be your own story.
Time is like a river,
Never ceasing on its path.
People try to stop it.
It continues in its wrath.
Sometimes it goes too fast.
Sometimes far too slow.
But in the end we have no voice,
In how quickly it will flow.
Dams are built to slow it.
People try to turn its way.
But in the end the river wins,
Always having its own say.
The easy, fast and pleasant currents,
Let us smile and float around.
But when we reach tough rapids,
We are crushed and sometimes drowned.
When we meet the ocean,
Our time is finally through.
We wonder why we swam so fast,
And wish to start anew.
image https://www.tumblr.com/search/flowing%20river%20gif
Alyna!!
I don’t think that I can possibly tell you enough as to how much I love your writing, so I’ll tell you again. Each of these pieces are absolutely spectacular. From reading your writing, I’ve noticed that you have a specific voice that is clear throughout each piece, however, each one has something different about it that makes it incredibly unique. The combination of these differences is incredible and I can’t thank you enough for continuing to write beautiful pieces in your voice.
The only thing that I could possibly comment on is the spacing of each of your lines. This is probably just me being a little picky or weird, but I noticed that every once in a while a line would cut off at an odd place. It wasn’t something that took away from your writing, but that honestly all that I could think of to comment on.
Fighting!
Chloe
Dear Alyna,
Your A-Z writing piece is beautifully crafted and your V is for Veld captures the essence of nature fading away. This is a harsh reality and the sliver of hope you still have seems wondrous amidst the chaos. In C is for Cemetery, the way in which you personified death made it seem more realistic and inevitable as it lurks around the corner. I especially like the lines “Sweet as sin. Dark as night.” The Q is for Quay is perhaps my most favourite one as it relates a river to time. By having the ending as an ocean, you describe how death could be a new beginning to a new world.
To improve, I would recommend placing commas in certain areas to allow for an impactful pause. This will enhance your writing as the reader is forced to slow down making them pay closer attention to more minute details.
Overall, this piece was amazing, and I hope to see more just like this.
Sincerely,
Abhay
Dear Alyna,
All three of your A-Z writing pieces were very eye catching to the reader. As there were very different and unique perspectives to your writing. The one piece that stuck out to me the most was the Q for quay. This piece perfectly incorporated time into river and life.
For improvement, I would say expand a bit more on the V for vast or open spaces.
Sincerily,
Zubia