Isabella, a 21-year-old has just spent the last 3 years with her supposed soul mate. Soon, he is no longer the same man who showered her with the gentlest and purest of loves, but rather a man unable to control the violent winds that possess his being, unleashing a hurricane of pain and desolation upon Isabella’s life.
If loving you kills me tonight, I was ready for death the moment I said hello. I found heaven and hell in you, found the truth within places that you would never explain, found stability among your destruction. That night, there was no stability. There wasn’t any for days after; the battle never seemed to be over, but it was always won by you. That night, you embodied a storm, one waiting to strike and declare victory over my every shattering piece.
The night you came home with whiskey on your breath was the night I knew the storm that had been waiting, preparing, ready to make its stealthy and quick appearance was about to hit. Instead of taking cover, I drifted to you, hoping to calm the wind before it created a hurricane. I was too late.
My skin felt the storm first- raindrops beating down at a pace so fast I forgot how to breathe. My eyes closed, hoping to dream the storm away, hoping the rain would stop eventually before it floods my entire being. I felt the thunder on my chest next, each clap louder and more powerful than the last, getting closer and closer to my weakening heart. As your fingers wrapped around my neck, I felt the lightning shock my every nerve, I felt your name get caught where your hands remained just long enough to show me you were serious.
Gasping for air, I felt the storm pass and confusion appear on your face as I fell to the ground, gasping for air and grasping at any part of me that survived the damage.
I felt your fingers trace a path back to my throat. Back to where the necklace you put around my neck lay shivering, begging to be torn off, terrified of what might happen next. Back to where you showed me the line that bordered life and death, teasing me on both sides.
Your hands turned gentle, your words into apologies and your eyes turned soft. I saw who I fell in love with and for one more night, I would stay. One more chance to show me this wasn’t who you were. One more chance to help you, to fix you. One more chance to love you.
That night, your demons became mine. My heart became a shape held together by broken kisses and apologetic hugs. You took a piece of me that night- a piece I would never get back.
One day, I will make peace with my demons, and the chaos in my heart will settle flat. Maybe for the first time in my life, life will smile right back at me and welcome me home. For now, though, I would give you one more night.
you were my soul-mate after all.
Dear Alyna:
This is such a beautiful and heartbreaking monologue. The repeating metaphor of the storm used as a parallel for the violence and pain in the relationship was really clever and provided vivid imagery. I especially loved the “As your fingers wrapped around my neck I felt the lightening shock my every nerve.” You made sure you balanced the intensity of the violence and the internal heartbreak of the character. Speaking of which you did a good job of showing this character’s pain and turmoil of being torn with loving someone horrible but also wishing to escape. It just added another complex layer to the story.
I don’t really have feedback other than checking over for any stray GUMPS. I really think you should write more monologues like this. It really melds well with the poetic style you already have.
Sincerely,
Reegan =)